March 2012
13 posts
I think from now on when clients ask me what I’m doing “after this” or if I want to go do something with them, I’m going to default reply with “I’m sorry, I have to return some video tapes.”
They won’t get it.
You know what I hate? When clients want to pay me in drugs. Nig, listen. That’s nice and all, ‘cause I know drugs are expensive an’ shit, but I CAN’T PAY MY RENT OR MY BOSS IN DRUGS.
Also, I’m straight-edge.
Also, that’s not even a full payment’s worth of drugs. Like, you would need more drugs if this were theoretically acceptable.
“The quickest way to spot a frat boy, is to be a stripper.”
—If there’s enough mousse in his hair that he walks into a room and Sarah Palin tries to shoot him, he might be a frat boy.
I cannot work today or tomorrow because parasitic insects have waged a war against me, and I am covered in over twenty bug bites and am extremely itchy. Nothing sexy about that, I’m certain.
But fear not, I’ve taken down 3 mosquitoes tonight alone and am armed with repellant. I WILL BE AVENGED.
I just had a client who tipped me four dollars. Four. Dollars.
Aaaaand I’m pretty sure he had spilled cocaine on his hotel room carpet.
you're so hot! Where are you working in South Florida I wanna come see you! <3
Aw, thank you!
But actually, that video was taken almost two months ago. My friend that edits the videos for this blog had issues so we backed up a queue of crap that is only just now being edited and thrown up. :)
Who has two thumbs and refuses to drive almost two hours to the shore in the middle of a freak hailstorm? THIS STRIPPER.
do guys actually get boners in strip clubs?
is that ok?
or is that against some strip club etiquette?
Yes they do. And we pretend to ignore them as politely as possible. :)
On conversational skills
Why would you ever start a conversation with your stripper about child molestation? Yes, working for escort services is a bit sketchy and can be dangerous. Yes, there are plenty of creeps out there. Unless you want me to start thinking that you’re one of them, please do not delve into the dastardliness of sex crimes while we’re sitting in a strip club.